Thursday, April 22, 2010

For my james......i love you

Gary Allan
We fly by night

Wake up Monday morning lookin' at another 50 hour week
Hit the ground, black coffee, runnin' on 2 hours of sleep
Damned old truck won't start and I've got some place to be by eight
You spin around in circles, cookin' breakfast, runnin' late too
You're stressed out, stretched thin, sometimes it's just like a zoo
We come home tired and weary after making it through on more day.


And we fly by night
Wrapped around each other 'neath the pale moonlight
Everything in the great big world feels right
Baby you and I, we fly by night

Well, traffic's backed up bumper to bumper for 15 miles
Call you on the phone said "Hang on babe, it's gonna be a while"
You say, "Hurry home lover, I'm wearing nothing but a smile for you."
Already got my coat off as I pull into the drive
Sometimes I think I must be the luckiest man alive
When you pull me down on the couch and slowly slide off my boots.

(Repeat Chorus)

No, I wouldn't care if the sun never shined again, again..

(Repeat Chorus)

baby you and I, we fly by night

Saturday, April 10, 2010

the definition of insecure

in·se·cure (ĭn'sĭ-kyŏŏr')

1. Not sure or certain; doubtful.

2. Inadequately guarded or protected; unsafe.

3. Not firm or fixed; unsteady.

4. a.Lacking stability; troubled.

b.Lacking self-confidence; plagued by anxiety.

I am insecure......sad but true. My insecurity causes me a lot of problems. It makes me do things that I normally wouldn't and feel anxious about things that i shouldn't. it's difficult for me to deal with these issues but i'm trying.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

taking time for me

i realized something the other day....i don't really know who i am anymore....i have been so many things to other people that i think i've lost me. i describe myself as a mother, fiance', daughter, sister, friend, employee but i don't really know me outside of those things. i think that i am afraid of who i might be or what i might see if i take a true look at myself. i characterize myself by my physical, mental and emotional flaws but fail to bring my positive attributes to any one's attention.

lately i feel so old.....i know that 32 isn't old.....i really don't think i am old but it's hard when you start to notice the tell tell signs of aging. of course there's my weight......that is an ongoing saga.

i am going to take more time out for me......for what i want to do....i'm going to take more time to blog and reflect on my thoughts and feelings. even if no one ever reads my thoughts i think it will help for me to get them out.

Thought of the day: I am worth it! (i might not feel this way yet.....but maybe if i keep thinking it, saying it and typing it i might start to feel it!)